And Now I Present...

My first successful batch of protein ice cream! It was supposed to be chocolate-cherry, but it's a bit more chocolate-y with a hint of cherry. Complaints? None here :]

Thank you, HEAB, this is so much fun to eat!

&&tasted absolutely wonderful after Shaun T's Plyometric Cardio Circuit! I LOVE INSANITY!

Sweet Solitude

Sometimes I wonder why it's so hard to just unplug, you know? I have an hour between two of my morning classes, and it's not worth it to go all the way back to my apartment (on campus, but still) and walk all the way back. When I schedule my classes that way, my first thought is What am I going to do with that extra time? Where do I go? It's silly, really, because I'm lucky enough to go to one of the most beautiful universities EVER, imo, and here I am making a big deal about not knowing how to spend an hour. I've gotten better, I'm sitting in my favorite spot on huge stairs that form benches (they have a separate staircase) on the side of a major campus center. So far, I'm the only person just sitting here, as most people prefer the tables and chairs that line the frozen yogurt shop or the student services center. I like my stone benches though, they're relaxing purely for their simplicity, their lack of defined use. There's a fountain in the shape of our school's mascot at the base of the stone benches, so I get to feel the breeze, the San Diego autumn heat, and hear the splash of water. 

It's eternally wonderful, and yet, whenever I sit here I feel the need to have SOMETHING going on. My Blackberry next to me, perhaps, or even blogging, like now. The only time I brought a book, I called my dad to talk anyway. Why is it so hard to step away from interpersonal connections and just breathe? It seems like I constantly need stimulation, something that has only gotten worse over time. I am in medias res, or in the middle of things, with a lot of things. My morning, my adjustment to being back at school, and a book that my grandmother sent me called Gifts of the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. She writes a very poignant chapter on solitude, and how we must take the opportunities to step back from our daily lives and take time to just be. Alone. Unplugged. Because we can't give life everything that we have, we can't develop interpersonal connections, unless we can find peace alone, in her case on a secluded beach, in my case on stone benches next to a fountain. 

I've started to rejoice in the solitude I get from yoga. Yes, there is an instructor, yes there are classmates, fellow souls seeking the same peace that I'm seeking, but each stretch is a test of personal limits, of inner strength just as much as outer. Running can give me that solitude as well. But still, I often find the need to be plugged in, especially to my iPod. If I'm at the gym, on a machine, I don't have the time to think, nor the desire. I send text messages, try to read Runner's World, and just generally try to find connections. Outside is different. There is music playing but after the first few miles I don't hear it. I try to work out kinks in my thoughts, subtle but disturbing nuances in my day, and any lingering emotion that I want to work through. I think it's gotten harder since I had to sit out of long distance running, because I wasn't accustomed to not having an hour or more daily to just pound the pavement and think. Now running is clouded with worry...what if I'm not healed? What if I'm just angering fate?

Soon, I think. Soon I will be able to put miles and miles down and not worry about my body, because I know I'm capable of great things. Starting with taking time for blissful, sweet solitude.

I'll leave you with this last picture, something my mom took on her cell phone, as a reminder to take time to relax and reflect, and to be eternally grateful for natural peace.

Nashville, in my dreams?

I REALLY REALLYYY want to run Rock 'n' Roll Nashville. I mean, there's always fear of injury, and since I'm still at the 5k level who knows where I'll be in November, when the TNT season starts. I mean, it would be through TEAM, of course, so I'd be insanely well-trained, but I just came back from a MAJOR injury. I think since I can run short distance, do yoga, and do Insanity, my foot is okay, but I'm terrified that I will reinjure it. I had to drop out of the Nike Women's Marathon, which is actually coming up, because I wouldn't have been trained and realized that it would be too much too soon. I was so excited for that, because Alumni Fundraising worked out for me. If I do Nashville, I think I'd have to do full fundraising because I'm a college kid. I can't afford things like that you know? I'd really love to mentor, and that would give me a discount, but we'll see. 

But after dropping Nike I picked up LA Rock 'n' Roll Half, which will be inaugural, a week after Nike, and I'll be with the same two lovelies I did Disney with. Thirteen miles fly with them, and suddenly I don't care whether or not I PR, or whether or not I'm hitting a negative split. I'm really excited, because it will be my second Rock 'n' Roll this year (and ever...haha) so I get some heavy medal (teehee!). 

Hey there, sexy...

I originally started this blog post about something totally different, but hey, no surprise, running takes over<3

Aversions and Water(melon) Babies

All right, when watermelons go out of season I think I'm going to lock myself in my room and cry for a few days! I can seriously eat half a watermelon at a time, and sometimes, that's all I want to eat. Which leads me to think about aversions. 

Are there any foods that just make you cringe? I'm not talking about lifetime aversions, but foods that you've had as a regular part of your diet and now just can't stand?

Well, it's been like that for me alllll summer. For some reason, I couldn't handle most things that weren't raw, and while it's true that I LOVE the raw diet, I usually go about 60-40 % raw to non-raw. I will eat fish though, easily. And I live on sushi when I can, even if the rice isn't raw. But lately I've had a serious inability to eat bananas and eggs. No clue why, I just can't bear to really consider them. 

This happens to me a lot I guess, but it's just a bizarre thing. And lately eating dairy has been a chore, except cheese. I can't give up cheese :]]] I did buy some Nooch at WHOLE PAYCHECK (thank you, Fitnessista). Whole Paycheck is the bane of my existence, I also got my hands on some vanilla stevia, GUAR GUM (sooo hard to find this summer!), Pamela's gluten free flour, and my new lover...

oh hayyy baby ;]

(& Source!)

But back to my other baby. The watermelon. Through all my aversions and pretended gagging, I've become quite the watermelon myself. I eat it for breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, not dinner because by then I'm okay for dairy, and EVERYTHING!

Here's the thing about watermelon, comes with quite the belly! And I don't have the bananas to calm it! Oh well, I love my watermelon babies. Seems like I've constantly got a watermelon baby. I should start naming them I suppose. Maybe not. But seriously, it's a perpetual state of watermelon pregnancies. Yummy.

...But the next time I mention babies, it'll be because I constantly swoon over CCK's recipes<3

&& I love you Shaun T. I'm currently a total wimp, but I have serious optimism about improvement! I love the way all the people in the videos are showing REAL effort, with the need to rest, the swearing, and the sweat. Amazing.

Let me be Phoenix, please.

Sooo, that was some hiatus right? What was it, FIVE MONTHS? Classy, Courtney, classy. Start a blog and then abandon it. But I have some exciting news, so all my nonexistant readers will forgive me righttt? 

I CAN RUN!

I want to go around shouting it, singing it, dancing to it! I CAN RUN I CAN RUN I CAN RUNNNN! When I returned to the Bay (BAY AREAAAAA), I went to see the podiatrist. Well, after three different x-rays, she told me that she saw no fracture and that I had to sit out for a month or two. That's it: rest for a month or two. I held back tears in her office and promptly went to see my mom (she works at the same facility, though I won't say where) and collapsed in HER office. Cue tears, hysterics, screaming, etc. I thought my life was over. I seriously sat on the couch for a good two days after that just crying. I mean I had already been out for a good two months and running isn't just my stress release, it's my hobby! I love going home because my old trails are there & I know exactly how to add miles & I occasionally see people I know drive by :] And how insensitive, just tell me to sit on my butt? What about physical therapy? Nope, no referral. I was pretty angry, let me tell you. Right after the doctor, I went to see my sister's chiropractor. She's a bigshot soccer player, and gets hurt like I used to pre-running days (which I can't even remember!). The chiropractor's husband gave me a tough love speech, which said get in the pool NOW because sometimes you have to do what you don't want to do until you recover. He said I needed cardio, because I had to be going CRAZY. Then his wife set me up with ultrasound technology right on my sesamoid bone, muscle stimulation therapy (my toes DANCE, I'll try to put up a video), and deep heat. She also did some adjustment.

Well, I went to see her for a while, and I really think she helped relieve the inflammation/irritation. I meant to get in the pool and swim a lot, but I really only had time to go twice, as I worked from around 7:30 to around 6 every day! Love my job :] I went to the gym just to lift more often than that of course.

Here's the greatest part: I mastered balance ball pushups to jacknives! I felt strong again, like an athlete again :] 

Two weeks before the Disneyland Half Marathon, I started running again. Let me tell you, I am OUT OF SHAPE! I mean, I had to sit for four months! Hardest 5k of my life, that first one. No joke. But I did it. And I'm still at the 5k level, which KILLS me, because I'm through and through a distance runner. So it's rather demoralizing to know that I have to start all over again, but I will! The Disneyland Half Marathon, which I did NOT have time to really train for, was a total blast! Ran a bit, walked most of it, but I was with two of my friends who didn't train fully! We sang Disney songs and came in at around 3:26.

Welllll, my PR from La Jolla (including crazy hills and horrid injury) was a 2:16, so I didn't quiiiite beat that this time. But it was amazing! So much better, and such a lovely race! Helped that my mom, sister, sister's bf, and my bgf (best guy friend) were there at the finish line! At La Jolla, I was totally alone...It's funny though, every time I do a half I think, well that was fun, but I love fulls so much more!

So this summer involved a lot of summer camp, weights, breakthroughs, and even a return to yoga at the very end! LOVEEE. And not to mention, I split a pair of my running shorts, that used to be soccer shorts & that I've had for six years, down the center while working with my speed trainer. My mom called him the minute I came into her office in hysterics and said PLEASE HELP! So I had three amazing, can't walk for four days sessions with him, thank you mom, I love you so much!

Wow, what a long explanation of my hiatus & summer! I guess as long as I wasn't running, I couldn't bear to blog. But now I'm back. With yoga...

So call me a phoenix. Those were some pretty rank ashes, some pretty dark, teary days. But I rose up! Now there's some possible scartissue but I can handle that...

&&Lastly, I started INSANITY finally :] FINALLY. Day 2 done, ouch. Marry me please, Shaun T!

Blue-bee-bears!

Finals week is almost over! Just one more final, tomorrow, and I'm free for summer! I really do love the quarter system, even with the three sets of finals...

So I was REALLYYY sunburned from job training (summer camp!) this past weekend, so it's been a stretch to even sleep on my back, let alone throw a sports bra on! Today was the first day that I've been able to, so I got my booty to the gym!

Started with weights: 12 lb. dumbells for lat. raises, serving trays, bicep curls...the usual routine.

Then on to the elliptical. Now, I cry around 3-5 times a week over my stupid injury, because taking running from me is like taking life from me. YES, I am that dramatic. So today I taped around my foot, hoping it would help (a little...) and printed out the Fitnessista's Boredom Buster elliptical workout. THANK YOU FITNESSISTA, I NEARLY DIED. It was amazing! I've never felt so good from an elliptical workout before! After that, I did a bit of legwork with weighted machines (I don't normally do those, but I was in the mood I guess-I usually use my own body weight). Then 20 minutes on the recumbent bike, as my foot had started to twinge at the end of the elliptical cooldown. 

Headed over to the balance balls and did a few reps of the ab roller & about 13 balance ball jackknives. I WILL get better at them, I swear!

So I took the plunge...I ORDERED INSANITY! I'm totally stoked, when my foot heals I'm going to sweat my way through Shaun T's brutality. Loveee.

Nourishment today...well half a pot of weak coffee, a BUNCH of green tea, and a small protein shake, or drink, because it was RIDICULOUSLY thin, made from 1 scoop Designer Whey Vanilla, a small banana, around a cup of ice, and maybe 3/4 to a cup of skim milk. Very nice :]

Post workout:

In the words of the Fitnessista herself, GLORIOUS!

1.5 liters of water (which I'm still working on), a container of blueberries (goodbye portion control), and an almond & cashew KIND bar. Bars are relatively infrequent, especially after I realized that both CLIF and LUNA have gluten...explains how I felt when I used to eat them as meal replacements. And I ran out of my stock of mini LARABARS from the JDRF walk fall quarter. But this was a treat :]

Oh & to clarify the title, my sister, who is now 234239832x cooler than me, and a few inches taller despite being four years younger, used to say the cutest things! Now she's too cool to be a dork with me...usually :]

But she used to call cigarettes "smokers," and when she wanted to be carried, she'd say "carrot me up." Very direct, to the point. They should have let her write the dictionary...

Anyway, she was always the blueberry fan, it was a texture thing for me. Crazy, now I'm addicted. Somehow in her genius brain she mixed up the syllabic sounds and instead of saying "Blue-berr-ee" said "Blue-bee-bear." Freaking adorable. Oh and strawberries were "Straw-bee-bear." Love her<3

Off to shower and study for my last final of sophomore year! Goodbye half of undergrad, wow.

Happy National Running Day!

Yes, it's National Running Day!

(aka Courtney wants to smack someone because she's still injured :[)

Anyway, this week has been somewhat hectic, but I managed to get two beach runs in over the three day weekend! Ten sets of 1x5 minutes (walkingxrunning). It feels SO good to be running again, my body just knows it and loves it! It's almost a blow to my pride to be running such low mileage, but the interval is there to keep me from getting bored going back and forth, and the sand makes it harder anyway. No pain at least...But since it's barefoot, I have to be careful because my feet get roughed up pretty nastily. In all honesty, I'm a little scared of trying to put on running shoes, because even my XT shoes hurt sometimes. 

So today was my first day at the gym all week, because Saturday & Monday were beach days, and Sunday was a lazy-Courtney-has-bad-habits-and-will-feel-disgusting-tomorrow day, and on Tuesday I had a ten page research paper due for one of my general education classes (six quarters of it one lecture from being DONE!). I should have started it wayyy before Monday night, but since the course requires a prospectus to be turned in week six, I had a good start and copied & pasted much of the structure. From there I just filled it in! My topic was women & family in the Third Reich. Heavy, I know, but I wanted to approach Germany during Hitler's years from an angle I didn't know much about. Well, I finished that at four in the morning, which is TOTALLY not the way I do things, I swear. I need to be in bed by midnight at the latest, and I LOVELOVELOVE days when I crash at ten. I'm a failure of a college kid. Just kidding!

So after turning in the paper, I pretty much slept all day, and didn't make it to work out :[ I HATE rest days, even if I know I need them. This morning I was up for my usual 7:30 gym sesh, which I nearly fell asleep through anyway (thank you sleepytime tea, really). Around ten minutes of lifting 12 lb. weights (heavy for me, but I wasn't getting results with 10 lbs.): side arm raises (lat raises?), bicep curls, serving trays (from Seventeen Magazine, love their small tips!), and a few other moves that are a part of my normal routine. I do about 20 reps of each, and I know I should tweak it, but in the early morning before classes, this routine works! Then hopped on the elliptical for 28 minutes of intervals, followed by an extra 2 minutes to round it out & a 5 minute cooldown. I was studying for my Latin quiz at the same time, while trying not to drool over Supernatural, which was on TV. 

Jensen Ackles=LOVE!

(Feast your eyes!)

Aww yeahhhh. Jensen Ackles, marry me! In a non-stalkery way. Or at least let me work out with you! 

Hopped on the recumbent bike for what was supposed to be 25 minutes, but my foot/injury twinged so I cut it to 20. Not fun. Came back & made a protein shake for breakfast/lunch with a bowl of pineapple, a LOT of mango, 1 scoop Designer Whey, a bit of vanilla extract, and a glass of milk. It was 1%, WAYYY too rich for me but once in a while I can deal. It wasn't my favorite, but fruit servings + protein...works for me!

And lots of pushups.

So off to Latin, hello release from world! Then back for a 30-minute pilates DVD & the rest of my shake. Nothing like a final the week before finals week to add a bit of stress :/.

So I had a bit of a meltdown. I've been dealing with this foot pain for over a month, in fact, I ran the La Jolla Hlaf Marathon with it, and no, it did NOT numb out. Thirteen miles of burning, shooting, horrendous pain. Lovely. Every so often I feel like I've reached my breaking point with it: I miss running! It keeps me sane, focused, and reduces a LOT of anxiety. Not to mention the double-cut quads I used to rock! There were a few tears, unfortunately, because not only am I off running, but the pain can be triggered by a lot of other things as well. No Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred, no plyometrics, and the bike and elliptical are left up to fate. So very frustrated. I'm okay now, with the promise of physical therapy once I get home. Maybe looking at pictures of this gorgeous specimen will cheer me up:

(More feasting!)

Hi, I know we don't know each other, but I currently love you. Ahh.