And Now I Present...

My first successful batch of protein ice cream! It was supposed to be chocolate-cherry, but it's a bit more chocolate-y with a hint of cherry. Complaints? None here :]

Thank you, HEAB, this is so much fun to eat!

&&tasted absolutely wonderful after Shaun T's Plyometric Cardio Circuit! I LOVE INSANITY!

Sweet Solitude

Sometimes I wonder why it's so hard to just unplug, you know? I have an hour between two of my morning classes, and it's not worth it to go all the way back to my apartment (on campus, but still) and walk all the way back. When I schedule my classes that way, my first thought is What am I going to do with that extra time? Where do I go? It's silly, really, because I'm lucky enough to go to one of the most beautiful universities EVER, imo, and here I am making a big deal about not knowing how to spend an hour. I've gotten better, I'm sitting in my favorite spot on huge stairs that form benches (they have a separate staircase) on the side of a major campus center. So far, I'm the only person just sitting here, as most people prefer the tables and chairs that line the frozen yogurt shop or the student services center. I like my stone benches though, they're relaxing purely for their simplicity, their lack of defined use. There's a fountain in the shape of our school's mascot at the base of the stone benches, so I get to feel the breeze, the San Diego autumn heat, and hear the splash of water. 

It's eternally wonderful, and yet, whenever I sit here I feel the need to have SOMETHING going on. My Blackberry next to me, perhaps, or even blogging, like now. The only time I brought a book, I called my dad to talk anyway. Why is it so hard to step away from interpersonal connections and just breathe? It seems like I constantly need stimulation, something that has only gotten worse over time. I am in medias res, or in the middle of things, with a lot of things. My morning, my adjustment to being back at school, and a book that my grandmother sent me called Gifts of the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. She writes a very poignant chapter on solitude, and how we must take the opportunities to step back from our daily lives and take time to just be. Alone. Unplugged. Because we can't give life everything that we have, we can't develop interpersonal connections, unless we can find peace alone, in her case on a secluded beach, in my case on stone benches next to a fountain. 

I've started to rejoice in the solitude I get from yoga. Yes, there is an instructor, yes there are classmates, fellow souls seeking the same peace that I'm seeking, but each stretch is a test of personal limits, of inner strength just as much as outer. Running can give me that solitude as well. But still, I often find the need to be plugged in, especially to my iPod. If I'm at the gym, on a machine, I don't have the time to think, nor the desire. I send text messages, try to read Runner's World, and just generally try to find connections. Outside is different. There is music playing but after the first few miles I don't hear it. I try to work out kinks in my thoughts, subtle but disturbing nuances in my day, and any lingering emotion that I want to work through. I think it's gotten harder since I had to sit out of long distance running, because I wasn't accustomed to not having an hour or more daily to just pound the pavement and think. Now running is clouded with worry...what if I'm not healed? What if I'm just angering fate?

Soon, I think. Soon I will be able to put miles and miles down and not worry about my body, because I know I'm capable of great things. Starting with taking time for blissful, sweet solitude.

I'll leave you with this last picture, something my mom took on her cell phone, as a reminder to take time to relax and reflect, and to be eternally grateful for natural peace.

Nashville, in my dreams?

I REALLY REALLYYY want to run Rock 'n' Roll Nashville. I mean, there's always fear of injury, and since I'm still at the 5k level who knows where I'll be in November, when the TNT season starts. I mean, it would be through TEAM, of course, so I'd be insanely well-trained, but I just came back from a MAJOR injury. I think since I can run short distance, do yoga, and do Insanity, my foot is okay, but I'm terrified that I will reinjure it. I had to drop out of the Nike Women's Marathon, which is actually coming up, because I wouldn't have been trained and realized that it would be too much too soon. I was so excited for that, because Alumni Fundraising worked out for me. If I do Nashville, I think I'd have to do full fundraising because I'm a college kid. I can't afford things like that you know? I'd really love to mentor, and that would give me a discount, but we'll see. 

But after dropping Nike I picked up LA Rock 'n' Roll Half, which will be inaugural, a week after Nike, and I'll be with the same two lovelies I did Disney with. Thirteen miles fly with them, and suddenly I don't care whether or not I PR, or whether or not I'm hitting a negative split. I'm really excited, because it will be my second Rock 'n' Roll this year (and ever...haha) so I get some heavy medal (teehee!). 

Hey there, sexy...

I originally started this blog post about something totally different, but hey, no surprise, running takes over<3

Aversions and Water(melon) Babies

All right, when watermelons go out of season I think I'm going to lock myself in my room and cry for a few days! I can seriously eat half a watermelon at a time, and sometimes, that's all I want to eat. Which leads me to think about aversions. 

Are there any foods that just make you cringe? I'm not talking about lifetime aversions, but foods that you've had as a regular part of your diet and now just can't stand?

Well, it's been like that for me alllll summer. For some reason, I couldn't handle most things that weren't raw, and while it's true that I LOVE the raw diet, I usually go about 60-40 % raw to non-raw. I will eat fish though, easily. And I live on sushi when I can, even if the rice isn't raw. But lately I've had a serious inability to eat bananas and eggs. No clue why, I just can't bear to really consider them. 

This happens to me a lot I guess, but it's just a bizarre thing. And lately eating dairy has been a chore, except cheese. I can't give up cheese :]]] I did buy some Nooch at WHOLE PAYCHECK (thank you, Fitnessista). Whole Paycheck is the bane of my existence, I also got my hands on some vanilla stevia, GUAR GUM (sooo hard to find this summer!), Pamela's gluten free flour, and my new lover...

oh hayyy baby ;]

(& Source!)

But back to my other baby. The watermelon. Through all my aversions and pretended gagging, I've become quite the watermelon myself. I eat it for breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, not dinner because by then I'm okay for dairy, and EVERYTHING!

Here's the thing about watermelon, comes with quite the belly! And I don't have the bananas to calm it! Oh well, I love my watermelon babies. Seems like I've constantly got a watermelon baby. I should start naming them I suppose. Maybe not. But seriously, it's a perpetual state of watermelon pregnancies. Yummy.

...But the next time I mention babies, it'll be because I constantly swoon over CCK's recipes<3

&& I love you Shaun T. I'm currently a total wimp, but I have serious optimism about improvement! I love the way all the people in the videos are showing REAL effort, with the need to rest, the swearing, and the sweat. Amazing.

Let me be Phoenix, please.

Sooo, that was some hiatus right? What was it, FIVE MONTHS? Classy, Courtney, classy. Start a blog and then abandon it. But I have some exciting news, so all my nonexistant readers will forgive me righttt? 

I CAN RUN!

I want to go around shouting it, singing it, dancing to it! I CAN RUN I CAN RUN I CAN RUNNNN! When I returned to the Bay (BAY AREAAAAA), I went to see the podiatrist. Well, after three different x-rays, she told me that she saw no fracture and that I had to sit out for a month or two. That's it: rest for a month or two. I held back tears in her office and promptly went to see my mom (she works at the same facility, though I won't say where) and collapsed in HER office. Cue tears, hysterics, screaming, etc. I thought my life was over. I seriously sat on the couch for a good two days after that just crying. I mean I had already been out for a good two months and running isn't just my stress release, it's my hobby! I love going home because my old trails are there & I know exactly how to add miles & I occasionally see people I know drive by :] And how insensitive, just tell me to sit on my butt? What about physical therapy? Nope, no referral. I was pretty angry, let me tell you. Right after the doctor, I went to see my sister's chiropractor. She's a bigshot soccer player, and gets hurt like I used to pre-running days (which I can't even remember!). The chiropractor's husband gave me a tough love speech, which said get in the pool NOW because sometimes you have to do what you don't want to do until you recover. He said I needed cardio, because I had to be going CRAZY. Then his wife set me up with ultrasound technology right on my sesamoid bone, muscle stimulation therapy (my toes DANCE, I'll try to put up a video), and deep heat. She also did some adjustment.

Well, I went to see her for a while, and I really think she helped relieve the inflammation/irritation. I meant to get in the pool and swim a lot, but I really only had time to go twice, as I worked from around 7:30 to around 6 every day! Love my job :] I went to the gym just to lift more often than that of course.

Here's the greatest part: I mastered balance ball pushups to jacknives! I felt strong again, like an athlete again :] 

Two weeks before the Disneyland Half Marathon, I started running again. Let me tell you, I am OUT OF SHAPE! I mean, I had to sit for four months! Hardest 5k of my life, that first one. No joke. But I did it. And I'm still at the 5k level, which KILLS me, because I'm through and through a distance runner. So it's rather demoralizing to know that I have to start all over again, but I will! The Disneyland Half Marathon, which I did NOT have time to really train for, was a total blast! Ran a bit, walked most of it, but I was with two of my friends who didn't train fully! We sang Disney songs and came in at around 3:26.

Welllll, my PR from La Jolla (including crazy hills and horrid injury) was a 2:16, so I didn't quiiiite beat that this time. But it was amazing! So much better, and such a lovely race! Helped that my mom, sister, sister's bf, and my bgf (best guy friend) were there at the finish line! At La Jolla, I was totally alone...It's funny though, every time I do a half I think, well that was fun, but I love fulls so much more!

So this summer involved a lot of summer camp, weights, breakthroughs, and even a return to yoga at the very end! LOVEEE. And not to mention, I split a pair of my running shorts, that used to be soccer shorts & that I've had for six years, down the center while working with my speed trainer. My mom called him the minute I came into her office in hysterics and said PLEASE HELP! So I had three amazing, can't walk for four days sessions with him, thank you mom, I love you so much!

Wow, what a long explanation of my hiatus & summer! I guess as long as I wasn't running, I couldn't bear to blog. But now I'm back. With yoga...

So call me a phoenix. Those were some pretty rank ashes, some pretty dark, teary days. But I rose up! Now there's some possible scartissue but I can handle that...

&&Lastly, I started INSANITY finally :] FINALLY. Day 2 done, ouch. Marry me please, Shaun T!